I’ve been thinking about dreams today.
While writing an email to an old friend yesterday, I suddenly realized just how many projects I have going right now. I have: a new web comic, a vlog project, my author pages, an etsy shop, a major secret project, and other little odds and ends all going at once.
I also received some very good news yesterday that must (for now) remain secret, but that adds a massive project to my list. (Still not publishing–I should be so lucky!). Shortly after that I ran out of my guru, a more natural caffeinated energy drink that I am completely addicted to, and my brain felt as if it would explode for a couple hours until I could get some substitute caffeine at Starbucks. I guess you could say yesterday was a very good day, as far as days go, despite the caffeine withdrawal.
This morning it occurred to me that I am currently fulfilling little dreams. They aren’t the grand epic scale dream of being a fabulously wealthy author, these are mini-dreams. These are things I’ve wanted to do that I have been unable to do for one reason or another–mostly poor mixtures of time and energy.
There have been times in the past when I have tried to do them. Each time ended before it could really even begin. For a while I put these things on a shelf and focused on the full time job and all the responsibilities that entailed. Being on call 24/7 is never fun, but when your actions also effect the productivity of all the people you work with, the stress itself is overwhelming. Add a particularly demanding individual who fiercely scrutinizes your every move, then throw in the actual work and you have an energy sapping time sucking mixture of epic level responsibility.
It’s no wonder I became ill!
Now that all of that is over, being jobless allows me to pursue my own projects more than I could while employed full time. Even though the stress of the day to day, endless job searching and trying to make ends meet all take away from my ability to work on some projects, like my novel, it is still less stressful than the job I had. So, I find my artistic soul seeking an outlet in these other things.
Speaking of here is an art work-in-progress:
I think these little dreams are building a staircase to my big dream. And though I have no clue where the staircase will veer off, or when, or if a stair might fall somewhere, I can’t wait to climb to the top. These little dreams are just as important as the larger ones, perhaps even more so. In this moment they keep me going, fighting, trying, improving, and learning. And right now, that is exactly what I need.
Hold on to your big dreams, but give your little ones a chance too.
Until next time dear readers, au revoir!