The Best & The Worst

Hello dear readers.

It’s been a while since I posted here.

I’ve had many, many ideas but no time / brainpower with which to¬†write.

So, here I am, thinking myself into quandaries as usual. ūüėČ

Today’s musing will cover topics as diverse as Alice Cooper and Murder She Wrote.

Yep.

You heard me right.

So without further adieu, here we go.

I have been quite active on social media the past few weeks. This is due to many factors including lack of creative energy, crazy work schedules, producing/promoting Goth Gal, losing and gaining patrons and a sort of general malaise that comes with the Post Halloween insanity that seems to take over America every year.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE giving gifts to people. Carefully choosing something for someone you love, watching their face light up when they open it (or cringe depending on what you’re going for) and meals with people I love are great. The insane commercialism on the other hand that hits at midnight on October 31st, I could do without.

Seriously retail places:

Stop pushing products at me. You really don’t change what I am going to buy AT ALL. Also, I’m artistic so I can make ¬†A LOT of my gifts.

SALE SALE SALE BUY BUY BUY messages do nothing but make me AVOID spending my monies with you.

The CUSTOMER is almost NEVER right–please adjust accordingly.

And finally, GIVE YOUR EMPLOYEES PAID TIME OFF to spend their holidays with the people they love.The rest of us can wait a day, or a week or whatever, to buy whatever it is we want.

Okay, retail rant over.

One shopping type thing I have been enjoying is Apple Music. It keeps me from spending way to much on music when I launch into a music obsession. If you have iStuff and you tend to move from obsessive music binge to obsessive music binge (as in MUST HEAR EVERYTHING BY NEW ARTIST), get yourself an apple music family plan. 14.99 per month for up to 6 people. I am THERE. I mean okay I literally AM there…but you know what I mean. 6 friends could totally make this worth it too–if you trust your friends to pay you for their iPurchases.

I’ve been on an Alice Cooper binge this week and I have really been enjoying it. My current favorites is¬†Along Came a Spider, if you’re interested.

Spiked top hat. Need I say more?

Alice_Cooper_2011
I WANT YOU…to dieeeeeeeeeeeee. (okay he really doesn’t. However, it reminds me of that Uncle Same “I WANT YOU” poster…)

 

Speaking of death, I have also been spending a lot of time with Mrs. J.B. Fletcher in Murder She Wrote and thoroughly enjoying Murder She Blogged‘s commentary. I now frequently add “of death” to names. Seriously if you like JB, check it out! I happen to think JB is pretty sweet myself.

who-is-dead-jessica-fletcher

She’s like Auntie Holmes or something. I firmly believe that my childhood love of this show has completely blinded me to any flaws–you have been warned.

Speaking of flaws (I am SOOOO obvious with my transitions this evening), I have also been pondering social media.

What was that noise?

Oh, it’s just all the people reading this having a different reaction.Gotta slow down on the murder mysteries…

Social Media is a strange unique beastie that brings out the strange and unique in the people who use it–for better or worse.

I have had a blast and been very uplifted by kind comments and people enjoying Goth Gal. But I have also experience such things as being told off for dressing as a sugar skull for Halloween because culture (well actually Dia de los Muertos is a cultural mixing bag to start with), watched people dis the recent explosion of the French Flag everywhere (bad job everyone who uses a symbol?) and general asshole-ishness.

It seems to me like 97% of the people on social media are either OFFENDED BY EVERYTHING HOW DARE YOU!!!!! or are offensive about everything we hate this other group because reasons!

I am neither of these groups.

If I offend you, it probably wasn’t intentional.

I do not hate anyone unless they cause pain/suffering/death on purpose.

So, to recap, DON’T cause pain/suffering/death on purpose and I won’t have any problem with you.

Also, I will not live my life in an “Oh no I might offend someone better not do _____” bubble.

Sorry, NOT SORRY.

We are all imperfect people who screw up, fall in love, are amazing and horrible and more all at once.

Social Media is blowing all of this out of crazy proportion because of MANY reasons.

It’s sort of bothering me because I see it, even contribute to it at times and other then signing off…I don’t know how to fix it. And signing off seems like running away from the problem.

Yet, it depresses me more than I know how to express when I see someone attack something like posting a flag over a profile picture or yell at someone for their lack or possession of a specific cultural heritage.

It just brings up this question: what is wrong with us?

Why can’t we spend time actually helping instead of judging everybody?

Spend all that debate energy helping someone!

I will continue to ponder all of this lest this post become never ending.

So, for now, I’m going to leave you with Neil Gaiman’s words, because I think of them often and because they echo the fairy tales I took to heart in my youth:

Instructions, by Neil Gaiman

Touch the wooden gate in the wall you never saw before, 

Say ‚Äėplease‚Äô before you open the latch,

go through,

walk down the path.

A red metal imp hangs from the green-painted front door,

as a knocker,

do not touch it; it will bite your fingers.

Walk through the house. Take nothing. Eat nothing.

However,

if any creature tells you that it hungers,

feed it.

If it tells you that it is dirty,

clean it.

If it cries to you that it hurts,

if you can,

ease its pain.

 

From the back garden you will be able to see the wild wood.

The deep well you walk past leads down to Winter’s realm;

There is another land at the bottom of it.

If you turn around here,

you can walk back, safely;

you will lose no face. I will think no less of you.

 

Once through the garden you will be in the wood.

The trees are old. Eyes peer from the undergrowth.

Beneath a twisted oak sits an old woman. She may ask for 

something;

give it to her. She

will point the way to the castle. Inside it

are three princesses.

Do not trust the youngest. Walk on.

In the clearing beyond the castle the twelve months sit about a fire,

warming their feet, exchanging tales.

They may do favours for you, if you are polite.

You may pick strawberries in December’s frost.

 

Trust the wolves, but do not tell them where you are going.

The river can be crossed by the ferry. The ferryman will take you.

(The answer to his question is this:

If he hands the oar to his passenger, he will be free to leave the boat.

Only tell him this from a safe distance.)

 

If an eagle gives you a feather, keep it safe.

Remember: that giants sleep too soundly; that

witches are often betrayed by their appetites;

dragons have one soft spot, somewhere, always;

hearts can be well hidden,

and you betray them with your tongue.

 

Do not be jealous of your sister:

know that diamonds and roses

are as uncomfortable when they tumble from one’s lips as toads and 

frogs:

colder, too, and sharper, and they cut.

 

Remember your name.

Do not lose hope ‚Äď what you seek will be found.

Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped to help you in their 

turn.

Trust dreams.

Trust your heart, and trust your story.

 

When you come back, return the way you came.

Favours will be returned, debts be repaid.

 

Do not forget your manners. Do not look back.

Ride the wise eagle (you shall not fall).

Ride the silver fish (you will not drown).

Ride the grey wolf (hold tightly to his fur).

 

There is a worm at the heart of the tower; that is why it will not 

stand.

 

When you reach the little house, the place your journey started,

you will recognise it, although it will seem much smaller than you

remember.

Walk up the path, and through the garden gate you never saw before 

but once.

And then go home. Or make a home.

 

Or rest.

Copyright NEIL GAIMAN, not me.

(please don’t sue me, I’m trying to speak in feelings and I’m not paid for this at all. In fact it costs me to keep this website going. Also, I have no money anyway. So please don’t sue.)

Be safe everyone.

‚̧

 

The Best & The Worst

Hello dear readers.

It’s been a while since I posted here.

I’ve had many, many ideas but no time / brainpower with which to¬†write.

So, here I am, thinking myself into quandaries as usual. ūüėČ

Today’s musing will cover topics as diverse as Alice Cooper and Murder She Wrote.

Yep.

You heard me right.

So without further adieu, here we go.

I have been quite active on social media the past few weeks. This is due to many factors including lack of creative energy, crazy work schedules, producing/promoting Goth Gal, losing and gaining patrons and a sort of general malaise that comes with the Post Halloween insanity that seems to take over America every year.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE giving gifts to people. Carefully choosing something for someone you love, watching their face light up when they open it (or cringe depending on what you’re going for) and meals with people I love are great. The insane commercialism on the other hand that hits at midnight on October 31st, I could do without.

Seriously retail places:

Stop pushing products at me. You really don’t change what I am going to buy AT ALL. Also, I’m artistic so I can make ¬†A LOT of my gifts.

SALE SALE SALE BUY BUY BUY messages do nothing but make me AVOID spending my monies with you.

The CUSTOMER is almost NEVER right–please adjust accordingly.

And finally, GIVE YOUR EMPLOYEES PAID TIME OFF to spend their holidays with the people they love.The rest of us can wait a day, or a week or whatever, to buy whatever it is we want.

Okay, retail rant over.

One shopping type thing I have been enjoying is Apple Music. It keeps me from spending way to much on music when I launch into a music obsession. If you have iStuff and you tend to move from obsessive music binge to obsessive music binge (as in MUST HEAR EVERYTHING BY NEW ARTIST), get yourself an apple music family plan. 14.99 per month for up to 6 people. I am THERE. I mean okay I literally AM there…but you know what I mean. 6 friends could totally make this worth it too–if you trust your friends to pay you for their iPurchases.

I’ve been on an Alice Cooper binge this week and I have really been enjoying it. My current favorites is¬†Along Came a Spider, if you’re interested.

Spiked top hat. Need I say more?

Alice_Cooper_2011
I WANT YOU…to dieeeeeeeeeeeee. (okay he really doesn’t. However, it reminds me of that Uncle Same “I WANT YOU” poster…)

 

Speaking of death, I have also been spending a lot of time with Mrs. J.B. Fletcher in Murder She Wrote and thoroughly enjoying Murder She Blogged‘s commentary. I now frequently add “of death” to names. Seriously if you like JB, check it out! I happen to think JB is pretty sweet myself.

who-is-dead-jessica-fletcher

She’s like Auntie Holmes or something. I firmly believe that my childhood love of this show has completely blinded me to any flaws–you have been warned.

Speaking of flaws (I am SOOOO obvious with my transitions this evening), I have also been pondering social media.

What was that noise?

Oh, it’s just all the people reading this having a different reaction.Gotta slow down on the murder mysteries…

Social Media is a strange unique beastie that brings out the strange and unique in the people who use it–for better or worse.

I have had a blast and been very uplifted by kind comments and people enjoying Goth Gal. But I have also experience such things as being told off for dressing as a sugar skull for Halloween because culture (well actually Dia de los Muertos is a cultural mixing bag to start with), watched people dis the recent explosion of the French Flag everywhere (bad job everyone who uses a symbol?) and general asshole-ishness.

It seems to me like 97% of the people on social media are either OFFENDED BY EVERYTHING HOW DARE YOU!!!!! or are offensive about everything we hate this other group because reasons!

I am neither of these groups.

If I offend you, it probably wasn’t intentional.

I do not hate anyone unless they cause pain/suffering/death on purpose.

So, to recap, DON’T cause pain/suffering/death on purpose and I won’t have any problem with you.

Also, I will not live my life in an “Oh no I might offend someone better not do _____” bubble.

Sorry, NOT SORRY.

We are all imperfect people who screw up, fall in love, are amazing and horrible and more all at once.

Social Media is blowing all of this out of crazy proportion because of MANY reasons.

It’s sort of bothering me because I see it, even contribute to it at times and other then signing off…I don’t know how to fix it. And signing off seems like running away from the problem.

Yet, it depresses me more than I know how to express when I see someone attack something like posting a flag over a profile picture or yell at someone for their lack or possession of a specific cultural heritage.

It just brings up this question: what is wrong with us?

Why can’t we spend time actually helping instead of judging everybody?

Spend all that debate energy helping someone!

I will continue to ponder all of this lest this post become never ending.

So, for now, I’m going to leave you with Neil Gaiman’s words, because I think of them often and because they echo the fairy tales I took to heart in my youth:

Instructions, by Neil Gaiman

Touch the wooden gate in the wall you never saw before, 

Say ‚Äėplease‚Äô before you open the latch,

go through,

walk down the path.

A red metal imp hangs from the green-painted front door,

as a knocker,

do not touch it; it will bite your fingers.

Walk through the house. Take nothing. Eat nothing.

However,

if any creature tells you that it hungers,

feed it.

If it tells you that it is dirty,

clean it.

If it cries to you that it hurts,

if you can,

ease its pain.

 

From the back garden you will be able to see the wild wood.

The deep well you walk past leads down to Winter’s realm;

There is another land at the bottom of it.

If you turn around here,

you can walk back, safely;

you will lose no face. I will think no less of you.

 

Once through the garden you will be in the wood.

The trees are old. Eyes peer from the undergrowth.

Beneath a twisted oak sits an old woman. She may ask for 

something;

give it to her. She

will point the way to the castle. Inside it

are three princesses.

Do not trust the youngest. Walk on.

In the clearing beyond the castle the twelve months sit about a fire,

warming their feet, exchanging tales.

They may do favours for you, if you are polite.

You may pick strawberries in December’s frost.

 

Trust the wolves, but do not tell them where you are going.

The river can be crossed by the ferry. The ferryman will take you.

(The answer to his question is this:

If he hands the oar to his passenger, he will be free to leave the boat.

Only tell him this from a safe distance.)

 

If an eagle gives you a feather, keep it safe.

Remember: that giants sleep too soundly; that

witches are often betrayed by their appetites;

dragons have one soft spot, somewhere, always;

hearts can be well hidden,

and you betray them with your tongue.

 

Do not be jealous of your sister:

know that diamonds and roses

are as uncomfortable when they tumble from one’s lips as toads and 

frogs:

colder, too, and sharper, and they cut.

 

Remember your name.

Do not lose hope ‚Äď what you seek will be found.

Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped to help you in their 

turn.

Trust dreams.

Trust your heart, and trust your story.

 

When you come back, return the way you came.

Favours will be returned, debts be repaid.

 

Do not forget your manners. Do not look back.

Ride the wise eagle (you shall not fall).

Ride the silver fish (you will not drown).

Ride the grey wolf (hold tightly to his fur).

 

There is a worm at the heart of the tower; that is why it will not 

stand.

 

When you reach the little house, the place your journey started,

you will recognise it, although it will seem much smaller than you

remember.

Walk up the path, and through the garden gate you never saw before 

but once.

And then go home. Or make a home.

 

Or rest.

Copyright NEIL GAIMAN, not me.

(please don’t sue me, I’m trying to speak in feelings and I’m not paid for this at all. In fact it costs me to keep this website going. Also, I have no money anyway. So please don’t sue.)

Be safe everyone.

‚̧

 

All the NEWS

Hello!

I have been in an artistic bubble pondering things for days and today it popped–thank you job that said no to me.

Before I really begin, I just want to say that all of the projects below will be available for FREE on this website, ghouline, and gothgal.net. This will not change NO MATTER WHAT. You can visit, read, watch, enjoy without giving me a dime.

I make art. I share that art with the world. This update is NOT me asking for money. I have linked to patreon, only in case you are interested in more than that.

I repeat: ALL the things are available FOR FREE.

(That said, there will be high resolution versions available for patrons, along with other rewards.)

So, like I said, I have been pondering things for DAYS. I decided I needed to go all in with my art. I’ve been holding back, afraid I’m not good enough, afraid I am not a “true” artist, afraid the fact that I haven’t made it means I’m not going to…well NO MORE.

I’ve edited, compiled, created and altered. I’ve come up with ideas, plans, projects and something of a release schedule. I’m going to use my websites¬†as best I can.¬†There are three projects currently running: Goth Gal, Alison:Wonderland and Ghouline. More projects will be announced, rewarded, and offered as time goes by. Some in the future will perhaps be pay only–we’ll see how it goes.


Current Projects:

Goth Gal is a web comic strip similar to the Addams family. It follows a crusty yet lovable gothic gal in search of quiet darkness and never-ending coffee. There are a host of other characters including Rebel Ray, Coffee Cat, Apro Academic, the Goth Black Girls, and the Gothic Bunch–just to name a few. Come goth on with Goth Gal! Comics are released three times a week on¬†Mondays, Wednesdays¬†and¬†Fridays.

Alison:Wonderland is a mix between a manga/comic that follows the adventures of a girl named Alison and her hacker handle Wonderland in the near future. The comic merges the magickal girl genre with technology, information control, wonderland, and life. A comic page will be released once a week on Thursdays starting in November

Ghouline is entertainment to raise the dead. The youtube series follows after the grand tradition of horror hosting. Ghouline will be your creepy-cute guide through horror video games, and possibly classic horror films as well. The series will begin in October. (I will add a more solid release schedule here soon.)

Keep reading if you’re interested in supporting me. If not, I hope you’ll view¬†my work¬†in the coming days. ‚̧


Want to Support my Art?

I am also now pleased to announce that I have the weirdest patreon page in existence–probably.¬†If you’re still reading, I will assume you have some interest in supporting me as an artist/writer/musician/filmmaker/creator person. So, yay!

Anything you can give is SUPER appreciated. You can also limit things if you’re only interested in one project or if you want to give but can only afford a few times rather than every time.

My patreon banner shows some of the current projects:

Patreon All New

Reward structures start at 0.50$ and go up to 100$

Rewards include: HD multi-wallpaper packs, high resolution downloads of art and comic pages, a goodies grab bag, behind the scenes access to doodles and sketches and more, a goodies grab bag filled with physical rewards liked signed art and finger puppets and WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE, a lifestream where I give you a tour of my house, or take you through my day or (almost) ANYTHING really.

If you are interested in any of the above, please consider supporting me. Visit patreon to see the full rewards and project details: https://www.patreon.com/madskye

Thank you for reading! ‚̧

Future Diary

Bon apres-midi!

It is sunny, sunny, SUNNY where I am. This may effect my writing. I shall apologize now for what will inevitably be an overuse of exclamation points, CAPS LOCK and/or bubbly text.

Now that that’s out of the way…on to the show!

The delay in writing here has been due to a variety of factors including, but not limited to: moving, project work and, of course,¬†the artist’s natural self doubt.¬†(More on that last part a little later in this post.)

Moving is HARD. Moving to a home that you love helps soften the blow, but it is exhausting in mind body and soul. The¬†last month has been a Mobius strip of packing, sorting, moving, unpacking, sorting, moving…you get the idea. Now I am basically moved in, but I still have plenty of unpacking/sorting to do. For a more amusing and detailed idea of how it is to move with me, please¬†click here. This will take you to part one of six in “The Moving Saga”, a miniseries in my comic Goth Gal.

In other non-comic related news, you may recall a few months ago I said I was working on a secret thing? Well, secret is out: I applied for an art program and was accepted. Yay! In case you’re scratching your head right now and saying something like “Wait, aren’t you a WRITER?”, yes! I am in fact a writer, but I am also an artist. I feel that I have progressed as far as I can in my own art without some sort of guidance. I want to be able to write and illustrate my own books, especially my children’s books. For this, I need some training…badly. So, come the Fall 2015 semester, yours truly will be attending Graduate school.

It is now that I wish to turn my attention to a little discussion on HOPE. (I told you we would get here.) I hate hope. HATE. Hope far too often has equaled extreme disappointment in my life. Someone once asked me what my hopeful expression was, I couldn’t answer them right then and there because I didn’t really know. So, I thought about something I was hesitantly hopeful about and to my surprise my face morphed into a distrustful mask of skepticism. Oops?

I have since discovered that hope is very important. As children, we have to have hope so powerfully that the mind will twist all of reality to create hope if it has to. For some, this means that abusive parents become the “good” guys while they in turn are transformed into the “bad” guy. See, you have no power over your parents, but you can change yourself to be “better” if you want to fix things. Unfortunately, this screws up a lot of other things. This happened to me. Not fun, I can tell you.¬†The power of hope can be amazing, but also terrifying.

In an effort to provide hope during a period when I had none, I came up with a random idea that I will now share with you. If it helps you, please let me know. Post pictures. Say stuff. TELL SOMEONE! Pass it on to people you love who need some hope. I really want this thing to spread like fire because I find it so helpful for my chronic skepticism.

ARE YOU READY FOR THE THING?!?!?!!?

REALLY?!

OK!

I call it the FUTURE DIARY.

(If that sounds familiar you have awesome taste in anime. Note: this in no way resembles the anime, it’s just the name for the thing. You can sit back down now and not worry that someone is going to try to assassinate you…seriously SIT BACK DOWN.)

Ahem.

The way it works is pretty simple.

Step One:

Get a bank notebook, journal, sketchbook, or any other blank mass of paper somehow held together. Mine looks like this (yes that is a duplicate of River Song’s notebook–I love you guys!):

If I Could Write As Mysterious as a Cat
If I Could Write As Mysterious as a Cat

Find a pen–any pen will do. Open the notebook and write This is the Future Diary of YOUR NAME. (Feel free to add a tagline.) This notebook is now SACRED. You can only use it for your Future Diary. I wrote in mine like so (drawings are¬†optional):

Warning: Spoilers
Warning: Spoilers

Step Two:

You pick something you are having trouble hoping for. This could be ANYTHING. You could pick a possible promotion, getting accepted somewhere like Grad school, meeting “the one”…the possibilities are endless. You pick a topic.

Step Three:

Pick a random spot in the notebook. As a rule of thumb, I put my larger hopes (i.e.- those things that will probably take longer to fulfill) further back in the notebook and the more everyday style hopes closer to the beginning of¬†the notebook. You can also do these in order if you want. I prefer the randomness thing…obviously.

Pages Waiting to Be Filled
Pages Waiting to Be Filled

Step Four:

This is the most crucial step for the hope process. You must imagine your hope being fulfilled. Imagine how it smells, how it feels, where you are, what you can hear etc. The more detail you can get in there the better. Then you write that down as if it’s already happened, like you would in a normal diary.

NOTE: If you can’t imagine whatever it is, you should pick another hope that you can imagine. For example, I couldn’t hope for grad school, so I didn’t write it down. I could hope for being a world famous author, so I went with that. (Yes, I know…no idea why, but this is how my brain works.)

Step Five:

Keep at it. Keep thinking up hopes and writing them in the notebook. It’s okay if you entry is crazy detailed and then the actual event is quite different. We are not clairvoyant, we are non-hopers trying to hope. (And, if you are clairvoyant, why are you reading this?) You may surprise yourself with the results.¬†I was having a really bad day when I came up with this idea. After I did several entries,¬†I felt like I was on cloud nine. I was seriously dancing¬†around the house. Scary, I know.

Step Six:

Pick a spot for your diary. It is now a SACRED object, it needs a SACRED spot. When you take it down to use it, make sure to put it back so you can always find it. Mine sits before the Great Nameless Owl:

The Great Nameless Owl Guards the Future Diary
The Great Nameless Owl Guards the Future Diary

Step Seven:

GO OUT AND DO THE THINGS! Don’t let the diary be the end, let it be the beginning. Let it inspire you to go accomplish the things you want to, to chase your dreams and fight your fears. In short, write then LIVE. Living is the point here dears. Living is what too many forget to do in modern society. I don’t know who said it, but I once read a quote that went something like: “Don’t live the same day for seventy years¬†and call it a life.”

So, you.

Yes YOU!

GET OUT THERE!

LIVE!

GO MAKE ART!

And I’ll share with¬†you a little something¬†future Madison¬†told present day me:

Thanks Future Madison!
Thanks Future Madison!

So there you are. That’s what I’m doing right now. Feel free to take the idea and experiment like crazy with it until you find what works for you.

I will, from now on, be updating this journal weekly. Every Saturday, you can expect an update from yours truly. Thank you to Problems With Infinity for giving me the motivation to make this a regular thing. If you haven’t checked out her blog you should.

So dare to be hopeful and write your futures the way you want dear readers!

‚̧

Stormy Seas and Story Skies

Bonjour!

I hope things are going well for you this chilly morning.

I have not abandoned this blog; I have been working on a ton¬†of projects recently. While I don’t mean the literal 1,000 lbs that “a ton” implies, it seems awfully close to it at times.

I have not been working on the novel for a few months now. This is mostly due to my intensely judgmental views of my own work. I tend to write a chapter, then rip it apart, then rewrite the same chapter and repeat. Pretty easy to fall into a depressing malaise if you keep that up for long. I intend to break this malaise starting today. Time to move that plot along with a barbaric YAWP! (Internet high five if you got the reference!)

Yesterday I felt stupid. I did not feel stupid for any sane, rational or even logical¬†reason. I felt stupid because I had created a patreon for one of my projects. See, I decided that the low traffic on the website of said month-old project meant that it¬†didn’t deserve a patreon, or some nonsense like that.

(rant: I’m not mentioning which project, patreon links, etc. because I am really trying not to beat people over the head with this. This is a journal designed to communicate with the world, not advertise. /end rant)

It took a friend pointing out the logic fail inherent in this thought pattern before I could see it clearly. She said something along the lines of “Well if you don’t put it out there, no one can decide if they like it or not…”. I am butchering her words (sorry dear!), but the idea is there. ¬†It is at this point that I realized this was my self doubt rearing its multifaceted¬†head. My brain immediately travelled in two different directions with this newfound knowledge:

The path of art doubt:

I have always doubted that my art is¬†“good enough”. Always. It’s like the awful feeling that stress testers get right before an exam, except it revolves around your child..er, I mean art. (Yes, my arts are¬†my children.) Don’t ask me who could deem my art worthy. As far as I know there is no benevolent art deity¬†who can give my art the high holy seal of art approval.¬†Even as I sit writing this I have to fight not to give it up as a bad job.

Yet fight I do. I MUST create art. My writing, my drawings, my fashions, my crafts, my single attempt at a floral arrangement, they all come from a need to create. It is this need that keeps me pushing despite the glacier of self doubt that I keep bumping into. I think in some ways all this critical thinking helps the art be better than it might otherwise be, but in other ways it can choke the life out of the thing.

All things in balance.

The path of people doubt:

At the time of writing I have a total of 9 twitter followers. I think there are animals on twitter with higher numbers okay. I really am not good at being social in real life, so it comes as no great shock that I’m not very good at it online.¬†This number has risen to as many as 15 before, but those were¬†the¬†people who click follow so you’ll follow them back. I do¬†NOT¬†do this. I in fact am vehemently against this. To me this defeats the point of twitter, social media etc: connecting with what you actually CONNECT with.¬†If you want to boost your numbers just to boost your numbers, don’t waste your time with me. I don’t play that game. I follow people or companies (or animals) that I genuinely find interesting, or inspiring, or a hundred other ing words.

This disturbing “numbers are all” trend is the same across instagram, tumblr, facebook, google+ and any other social media. This is why spam accounts have become¬†an epidemic on such platforms. When you take the element of connection out of anything with the word social in it, you kill it. What was organic and alive and evolving has become an empty vacuous thing that nobody recognizes anymore.

All of the lovely artists (By artist, I mean anybody who creates anything.) making it and connecting with their fans and creating art is WONDERFUL. I love this stuff. I love that I am able to keep up day to day with people who inspire me, awe me or are just freaking¬†epic. Sadly, it also makes the critic in me compare my own serious lack of connection¬†with those who are killing it. It does not make me jealous that they are successful, it makes me criticize everything I have ever made. Silly right? Recently,¬†I make sure to remind myself that at one point in time everyone who has ever made it (however they, you or anyone else defines “making it”) was an unknown person swimming in the sea of humanity. They failed, they fought, they made art and eventually, after much effort, it worked out.

Most importantly, as a lovely little fish so famously said, they kept swimming.

So keep swimming!

Until next time, dear readers.

Thanks for reading! <(~_~)>

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PS – Also, Goth Gal is a comic that I have been creating for a while in my spare time, but it has only recently been released to the internet. If you like what you see here, please go check her out at gothgal.net

GG
Hey. I’m Goth Gal.

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PPS РHere is an inspirational wallpaper I made a little while ago to inspire more writing (click the image to see the large version):

Dory writing
Dory is AWESOME. I love Disney.

Summer Sounds

Summer
Summer

Hello again. The smells and sounds of Summer are in the air and I am back into the swing of writing. It feels good to have taken a step back from the manuscript to let things air out a bit. I knew I was ready to return when I began inventing characters on my way home one day. I have moved beyond the chapter that was holding me up and I feel confident that I can complete it by my deadline of July 31st. This is a personal deadline of course as I have no publisher just yet. I would love for Harper Collins to publish me, but I know how tricky these things can be.

For now, I shall continue working on my dream until its polished, pretty and ready to be presented. ¬†We’ll see what happens from there. May your dreams come true!

PS –¬†Also, apparently, I posted my 12th post on the 12th of May. ūüôā