Little Dreams

Moon at Dawn
Good Morning Moon



I’ve been thinking about dreams today.

While writing an email to an old friend yesterday, I suddenly realized just how many projects I have going right now. I have: a new web comic, a vlog project, my author pages, an etsy shop, a major secret project, and other little odds and ends all going at once.

I also received some very good news yesterday that must (for now) remain secret, but that adds a massive project to my list. (Still not publishing–I should be so lucky!). Shortly after that I ran out of my guru, a more natural caffeinated energy drink that I am completely addicted to, and my brain felt as if it would explode for a couple hours until I could get some substitute caffeine at Starbucks. I guess you could say yesterday was a very good day, as far as days go, despite the caffeine withdrawal.

This morning it occurred to me that I am currently fulfilling little dreams. They aren’t the grand epic scale dream of being a fabulously wealthy author, these are mini-dreams. These are things I’ve wanted to do that I have been unable to do for one reason or another–mostly poor mixtures of time and energy.

There have been times in the past when I have tried to do them. Each time ended before it could really even begin. For a while I put these things on a shelf and focused on the full time job and all the responsibilities that entailed. Being on call 24/7 is never fun, but when your actions also effect the productivity of all the people you work with, the stress itself is overwhelming. Add a particularly demanding individual who fiercely scrutinizes your every move, then throw in the actual work and you have an energy sapping time sucking mixture of epic level responsibility.

It’s no wonder I became ill!

Now that all of that is over, being jobless allows me to pursue my own projects more than I could while employed full time. Even though the stress of the day to day, endless job searching and trying to make ends meet all take away from my ability to work on some projects, like my novel, it is still less stressful than the job I had. So, I find my artistic soul seeking an outlet in these other things.

Speaking of here is an art work-in-progress:


I think these little dreams are building a staircase to my big dream. And though I have no clue where the staircase will veer off, or when, or if a stair might fall somewhere, I can’t wait to climb to the top. These little dreams are just as important as the larger ones, perhaps even more so. In this moment they keep me going, fighting, trying, improving, and learning. And right now, that is exactly what I need.

Hold on to your big dreams, but give your little ones a chance too.

Until next time dear readers, au revoir!

Series and Circumstance

Look Out WorldHello.

That cute little guy posing with me is called Sable and he’s  a heartless. If you don’t know what a heartless is, I’m so sorry.

Yesterday may have been a very confusing day for those that are following me on any social media or this blog. Apparently, when you edit a post (to say, add a picture) that post is flagged as new. Since I decided to mass augment my blog posts with pictures, all of them appeared “new” all at once yesterday, and in the wrong order.

So, to sort some things:

I am not working on a new novel. I have been working on a novel for almost a year now (wow–I hadn’t realized it’s been that long until I typed that) and I am still working on it. I am over halfway done at this point and I hope to be finished by mid-April. Then the editing madness begins!

I lost my job a couple of months ago and have been unable to replace it so far. I opened at Etsy shop to help and am considering creating a patreon, but I have no idea how that system works or what I could give people as rewards. How does one reward people as a writer if the novel is not finished? How does one reward people as an artist when most of the art is regularly posted online for free?

I am also working on a SEKRET thing which I will, hopefully, be able to reveal soon.

I am strongly considering creating a vlog.

I’ve taken up learning French again after a seven year pause.

I want to create a one hit wonder on iTunes for fun.

And last but not least, I made a poll! Okay so it’s not really that exciting, but I’m having fun with it. Please vote below if you have an opinion!

Au revoir!

Furnishings, Findings and Freshness

Lovely Furniture
Lovely (not broken) Furniture

Hello again.

Today I am sitting on a new couch that is a lovely burgundy color. I have hurt my leg and need to keep it stretched out so it will heal properly. Hopefully, this doesn’t last too long and I can resume my seat at my desk quickly. The forlorn chair has moved back into its place and the new chair has moved into the living room at a small table I found hiding in an old room. Now I can write at two different locations in my house while keeping out of the way.

The novel is going along well. I had to take a couple days to plan future chapters and move old furniture that was literally dropping pieces off of it, so I plan to spend the rest of today writing.  I showed an artist friend my cover art and she critiqued it. Now it has her stamp of approval and is really much better than it was. Being both the writer and the artist is sometimes a hard mix to cope with. You end up wanting to both write and draw at once. Then you actually try it and realize it doesn’t work at all and you go back to fighting between the two.

My Great Expectations blue ray has not arrived yet, so I haven’t had to battle the temptation to watch it. I did spend a couple hours on youtube the other day. It began as me watching visually striking music videos (like this one), interesting trailers (here) and a short comedy sketch (like that). All of them were shorter than than a few minutes, but it was amazing how quickly the time disappeared. I realized during this adventure that my definition of media, in fact the world’s definition of media, has really gone through a huge transformation since the internet became mainstream.

I thought the next day about just how fast my evening disappeared versus how little I had to show for it. I came to the conclusion that I don’t ever wish to return to my previous way of doing things. I’m still working out what exactly this will mean. I love stories, thus I enjoy media, so I don’t want to give such things up completely. I have to find my balance. My media fast will be done in just over one week. I will figure out more then. For now, my small break is over and I must return to writing. I just had to stop and say hello world before I could proceed.

I leave you with warm thoughts on cold days. I hope to see you again soon.

Fun and Forgetting

Rain Rain Windy Windy
Rain Rain Windy Windy

It is now day 10 of my month long media fast–I only know this by working it out on a calendar just before typing that. My withdrawal I would say peaked on Wednesday but has been easy since then. I had two horrible days leading up to Wednesday and then the actual day itself was the worst of the three. I came home angry and sad and desperately wanting to lose myself for a long time. I sat in misery in my hard little chair at my writing desk trying to figure out how I could keep my media fast going and yet not feel this way. Eventually I took a drive and the cold winter air helped clear my head. I also talked with a friend and she suggested I read a book. A BOOK! Of course a book! Why hadn’t I thought of that? I realized after some thought that I had been unconsciously avoiding books in an effort to keep the novel I’m writing free from outside influence. I started reading immediately. My feelings lifted. I was up until 1 am reading that night. I felt much better when I went to bed.

When I awoke at 7am the next morning I wanted to destroy the alarm clock, but I got over it. I stopped keeping count that day of my fast. I worked on the background stuff for my novel, did some research and focused on what I had written for the next couple days. Yesterday, I finished two chapters and I have seven more started. I’ve been enjoying my tv free evenings so much I may never go back to any sort of regular tv schedule. I have to know how Once Upon a Time ends of course, but the rest can wait. Now I must go back to writing the novel before I spontaneously combust from sheer excitement. I bid you adieu to the sound of snow falling softly on dry leaves.